Is this plain language? Part 1 for local government projects

Would it help _your grandma_ navigate the subject-matter fog?

Last time was about bringing together persona and empathy, value proposition and call to action (from earlier editions) in key messages — building blocks to help make sure all your project’s public-facing writing flows from the same fresh source so it stays consistent and effective.

That’s all great, but those techniques will fail if you fog them up with wonky/geeky, work-clique-signifier words instead of plain language. Remember, the public is the true audience but your work cohort is not, no matter how easy that is to suppress.

That begs the question: What exactly is plain language? How can you tell if you’re writing it when you have to swim in a wonk/geek milieu?

Here’s my take

Plain language is easier to understand, so it can help your project serve equity and inclusion by reaching people who:

• Aren’t native speakers.

• Haven’t had access to higher education.

• Have low or no vision (and may rely on hearing text spoken by machine).

• Have learning or cognitive impairments.

At some point in her life, many or even all of these things have applied or may soon apply to your grandma (or yes, your grandpa, but they have shorter lifespans). Maybe that narrows it down: What language would you write to your grandma if your project would affect her daily routine?

But plain language also helps out people whose only hindrance is multitasking because of demands on their time. Know of any?

Maybe plain language even reduces eventual legal vulnerability for clients who ostensibly must comply with state standards about communication access (including Washington’s, Oregon’s and California’s, and federal ADA Section 508).

Given those stakes, here’s sort of a checklist to help you judge whether your public-facing project words would help out your grandma.

Short

When a short word means the same as a long word, use the short word in plain language.

Example: You have near-zero reason to ever write “utilize.” Instead, write “use.”

For handy lists of short vs. long words, follow the links near the end.

Tangible

Plain language mostly uses words representing things people can see, hear, smell, touch or taste. Wonky, geeky language tends toward things that can’t be sensed.

Example: It’s not clear how you might ever sense an “infrastructure synergy opportunity.”

But if you’re told water and sewer pipe upgrades are in the same road construction project with adding sidewalks and bike lanes, then you can connect with sights, sounds, textures and smells (but maybe not tastes).

Same word for same thing

With plain language, pick a word for a tangible thing and stick with it rather than drift to synonyms.

Example: Your project is installing widgets for traffic control on a main street. Your fact sheet calls them “widgets” at the start (with an illustration and a descriptive caption), but switches to “gizmos” in the middle and “macguffins” near the end.

For you, the prime contractor and others in your cohort, this is no problem — because you all have the wonky knowledge that Angus Macguffin invented widgets and first deployed them in a Gizmo, Texas project. All three terms are common in the industry and refer to the same traffic control.

But your true audience, the public, mostly doesn’t know this. They could easily think three types of new traffic controls are coming, yet the fact sheet describes only one. This undermines their trust in local government — because your public-facing writing appears to have either forgotten to include or tried to conceal something crucial.

(Disclaimer: Widgets, gizmos and macguffins are not actual traffic control devices.)

Honest and clear

Because plain language deals with tangibles, it tends toward clear meaning.

Example: The plain word “reduce” clearly is the opposite of “increase” but not as absolute as “end” or “stop.”

Now consider a common wonky/geeky context for the word “address,” as in “[project thing] will address the scourge of homelessness.” It’s tangible to the senses, but only in the context of hearing a public address — saying what? Or maybe addressing a letter or package — but what’s inside? What will [project thing] actually do to or for homelessness?

In such vague contexts, you just can’t tell — so they invite public speculation that the fog is intentional. Avoid them to authentically serve the public (and therefore also the long-term interests of clients).

Consistent with context (no spin)

Plain language uses straightforward words consistent with public context.

Example: Your department of transportation is doing a road construction project but your outreach materials call it “investing” and “investments.”

Thing is, your DOT, like other such agencies, doesn’t invest. Rather, it spends capital and other funding to buy utility that serves the public. The proof: Your DOT has never, ever sold off even one of its roads. It’s never liquidated any so-called investment asset to either take profit or write off loss.

If you go with “invest[ments],” you build public perception of your DOT as some kind of financial player rather than its authentic role. You invite the public to fixate on cost and funding sources and dollars of ROI (return on investment) — when really you were hoping for comments about whether the road design seemed safe and useful.

Instead, try “replacements” or “improvements” as nouns and “fund” as a verb related to cost. In the context of road construction, these are far truer and less spinny.

Active, not passive

A passive construction claims something somehow has happened or will happen without identifying who did or will do it.

Examples: “It has been determined that,” “A course of action will be decided when….”

This is dishonest and disingenuous because it thwarts clients’ accountability to the public — and isn’t that a huge component of equity and inclusion? It also makes sentences longer and blows up your reading grade level.

Attribute actions to persons. Strive for zero passives in the Microsoft Word readability stats that appear alongside your reading grade level.

Active, not intransitive

An intransitive is when a subject just sits there with a dubious verb that doesn't actually do. Usually that’s “is," but sometimes it’s other forms of “to be.” One of its forms appears again and again in wonk/geek language.

Example: “[Entity] is committed to [desirable condition or outcome].”

The problem: Commitment is an internal state of mind. From outside, it could look the same as non-commitment. (It’s pretty much the opposite of something tangible.) Thus it can’t be proved or disproved — so you’ll see it claimed whether or not it’s true and without any supporting facts. You might be tempted to invoke it like a Jedi mind trick, but giving in could undermine readers’ trust.

Consider Flint, Michigan

Flint’s lead-in-drinking-water crisis started way back in 2014. Yet as recently as January 2023, city officials still urged residents to filter risky tap water. A quick glance at Google and Wayback Machine shows that over those years, Flint residents received “is committed to” messaging from two mayors and at least one city rep; two governors; the state DEQ and a related department called EGLE; the USDA, EPA and Health & Human Services (all federal); the state attorney general’s office, the American Presidency Project and Wayne State University — and who knows how many more.

Imagine: such a gush of professed commitment over nearly a decade, yet Flint residents still lacked safe water. It’s enough to make a grandma suspect maybe “is committed to” is a contra-indicator of actual commitment.

Is it really much different in your part of the country? How many decades have segments of your audience faced equity and inclusion deficits while absorbing a steady drip of “is committed to” toxin?

Just don’t bother with “is committed to” and similar intransitives. Instead, swing right into what your project is actually doing and can be held accountable for completing.

Possible remedy: “This year we’ll replace old lead-lined pipes. It’s part of how we’ll keep the city’s water safe.”

Whew, that was a lot

Next time, part two will get a little more technical about defining plain language. ‘Til then, here are some other takes — including those lists of short vs. long words:

• The federal government has a standard and guidelines.

• King County (Seattle area) has an extensive guide.

• I occasionally update a rolling list (in a Google Sheet) of 100-ish trust-eroding words to avoid.

Refer — and bug out early

So I’ve turned on the referrals feature. When you use the referral link below, or the “Share” button on any post, you'll get credit for any new subscribers. Send the link in a text or email, or share it on social media.

When someone uses your referral link to subscribe, you’ll get a reward:

• One page of plain-language editing for one referral.

• Two pages of plain-language editing for your second referral.

• Three glorious pages of plain-language editing for your third referral.

Tell your wonks and geeks to do their worst, then send me what they inflict. I’ll dial it in for your public audience, with tracked changes and comments in a Google Doc or in Microsoft Word. Could help you ditch the desk for happy hour or soccer practice just a little earlier.

Rourke, I think I owe you a page. Ellen, I owe you like three. Sadly those were before I turned on referrals, so they won’t show up here: